i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
