Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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