Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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