Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
