My friends, they love my intelligence
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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