She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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