But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize