i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
