We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
