He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
