I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize