Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
