Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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