I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
