You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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