3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
