it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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