she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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