So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
