Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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(315): View more from New York

I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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(850): View more from Florida

it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.

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(514): View more from Quebec

So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed

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(909): View more from California

I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.

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