So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
