Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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