the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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