What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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