So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
