Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
