Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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