After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
