Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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