dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
