It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
