in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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