My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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