dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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