i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
