Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
