Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
