For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
