just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
