the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
