I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
