So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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