just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
