just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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