At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
