I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
