who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
and you fell through a lawn chair
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize