i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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