I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize