just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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