who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
