Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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