So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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