i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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