I wanna passion pit in your ass
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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