the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
