I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
