I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
North Korea, Best Korea!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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