Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
