that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
