I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
