i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
