it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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