He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
last night I used snow as a chaser
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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