dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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