I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
