let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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