Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm way too hungover for life right now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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