btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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